Now that the holidays are over, many families, after being reunited with their older parents, are experiencing an increased sense of uneasiness at leaving them alone.  Each year, this ritual gets harder and harder.  Adult children know in their hearts that they are one crisis away from being forced to make some very difficult decisions.  Those decisions are all the more difficult by not having “the talk” with our parents – before the crisis takes place.

What is “the talk”?  In order to implement a plan for our parent’s long term care should that need arise, we need to know their wishes.  Not knowing our parents’ preferences can make these decisions overwhelming.  We even find that very often a spouse does not know his or her partner’s desire for the type of care he or she would prefer or how that care might be paid for. 

“The talk” can clarify issues such as finances, choices for assisted living accommodations, options for care at home, and family availability. 

Many older adults are under the misconception that Medicare covers help at home.  And it does for short-term, physician ordered, medically-necessary services provided by a licensed home health agency.  However Medicare does not pay for long-term custodial kind of acre.  

Getting financial information can be the hardest part of this conversation.  Many of us, as adult children, have not been privy to our parent’s bank account and their personal assets.  Many of us do not even know if our parents have purchased a long-term care policy years ago that could now be accessed to help pay for care.  When our older generation hears the cost of a caregiver coming to their home, and realize that this may be an out-of-pocket expense for them, they often suffer from “sticker shock”.

Options for assisted living facilities or care homes are quite varied – from cozy home-like settings with a shared bedroom to large communities that offer a continuum of care (independent living, assisted living, skilled nursing, and memory care).  Each of these types of settings have advantages and disadvantages, and the right decision really depends on a person’s preference and the level of care needed. 

What happens when your parent digs in their heels and absolutely refuses to leave their home?  Private duty homecare is the choice here, and this could include Care Managers as well as Caregivers. 

The final consideration is family availability (or not).  Communication needs to happen addressing the commitment family members can make in supporting care needs.  Sometimes families are just not equipped physically to provide hands-on care to their loved one.  Or the emotional impact is too draining.  Their own family, career, and/or financial situation may not allow the kind of presence that their parent requires. 

All of these complexities add urgency to having “the talk” now, before the crisis hits.  And it will.  And it will be too late.  And decisions may be made that lead to regret.

To speak with a Geriatric Care Manager at Villa Home Care about your situation, please call us at 602-957-9300 for a complimentary meeting.  Visit our website at www.villahomecare.com for more information.