More than 3.3 million of us live an average of 480 miles from the loved one we care for.  This means that we come to visit for a few days, perhaps a week, and then get in our car or on a plane, and leave Mom alone once again.  Compounding that horrible feeling that we get in the pit of our stomach as we’re driving away or boarding our flight is the knowledge that 1) the potential for harm is great due to a fall or injury, 2) there just is not enough money available to pay for caregiving assistance, and 3) Mom insists that she is fine and does not need help!  Does this sound familiar?

Mary Smith’s husband died 6 years ago, leaving her alone in her Sun City, Arizona home.  Their only child, Susan, lives in St. Louis, with her own family where she is a practicing attorney.  Susan and her husband flew in to visit her 86 year old Mom over the Thanksgiving holiday.  After spending six days together, it was time to leave.  It was especially hard for Susan this year as she knew that her Mom’s recovery from her hip fracture last spring had not gone very well. Compounding her physical limitations were noticeable memory lapses which were happening more and more frequently.

Mary was very much a part of the “make-do” generation.  Being young during the Depression and World War II years has taught her that resiliency, frugality and self-reliance were the keys to survival.  When Susan had suggested hiring a Caregiver for a few hours each day, Mary was adamant that this was “wasteful”.  “Save your money”, her Mom said.  She added “what would they do here besides get in my way?”

So back to St. Louis for Susan with a real heaviness in her heart.  What could she do when her Mom was so adamant that she be left alone?  How could she respect her Mom’s autonomy when she didn’t feel that her Mom was making the best decision?

Using internet research, Susan found a Geriatric Care Manager through Villa Home Care who consulted with her about her Mom’s situation.  The Care Manager recommended Susan consider the use of technology as a solution to the dilemma she was experiencing.  Technology could offer 1) a less expensive set of “eyes” than a Caregiver, 2) less obtrusiveness than a Caregiver, and 3) provide the peace of mind to Susan knowing that her Mom is safe and secure in her home.

The Care Manager specifically directed Susan toward sensors and monitors.  Susan felt that having a motion detector in her Mom’s living areas would be very helpful as Susan would be notified if events happened (or didn’t happen) outside of preset parameters.  In other words, if the motion detector did not detect any movement in the living room between 1-3pm when Mary typically watched her soap operas, Susan would be notified on her cell phone or via email.

Susan was also concerned that her Mom may leave the stove burner on after heating water for her tea.  She learned that a sensor could be placed next to that burner – again alerting Susan if the burner was left on longer than was needed.

Lastly, the Care Manager talked with Susan about getting an S911 bracelet for her Mom.  This technology provides several benefits for Susan and Mary:  if Mary falls, Susan is immediately notified; if Mary is in distress, she can push one button to summon assistance; and, if Mary drives off past a preset boundary, Susan is notified of her exact location.

Susan is thrilled to learn of these options and feels that her Mom will be very receptive to all of these suggestions.  They meet all of the goals above – cost effective, unobtrusive, and give Susan the comfort knowing that her Mom is able to continue her independent lifestyle – safely.

Technology can help solve a myriad of concerns for older parents and their adult children, while keeping dignity, independence and financial resources intact.

To learn more about available options, please contact Villa Home Care at 602-957-9300 and schedule a complimentary assessment with a Geriatric Care Manager.