How can you know that your elderly Mom is safe when she lives alone?

More than 3.3 million of us live an average of 480 miles from the loved one we care for.  This means that we come to visit for a few days, perhaps a week, and then get in our car or on a plane, and leave Mom alone once again.  Compounding that horrible feeling that we get in the pit of our stomach as we’re driving away or boarding our flight is the knowledge that

1) the potential for harm is great due to a fall or injury

2) there just is not enough money available to pay for caregiving assistance

3) Mom insists that she is fine and does not need help!

Does this sound familiar?

Mary Smith’s husband died 6 years ago, leaving her alone in her Sun City, Arizona home.  Their only child, Susan, lives in St. Louis, with her own family where she is a practicing attorney.  Susan and her husband flew in to visit her 86 year old Mom over the Thanksgiving holiday.  After spending six days together, it was time to leave.  It was especially hard for Susan this year as she knew that her Mom’s recovery from her hip fracture last spring had not gone very well. Compounding her physical limitations were noticeable memory lapses which were happening more and more frequently.

So back to St. Louis for Susan with a real heaviness in her heart.  What could she do when her Mom was so adamant that she be left alone?  How could she respect her Mom’s autonomy when she didn’t feel that her Mom was making the best decision?

The Care Manager specifically directed Susan toward sensors and monitors.  Susan felt that having a motion detector in her Mom’s living areas would be very helpful as Susan would be notified if events happened (or didn’t happen) outside of preset parameters.  In other words, if the motion detector did not detect any movement in the living room between 1-3pm when Mary typically watched her soap operas, Susan would be notified on her cell phone or via email.

Lastly, the Care Manager talked with Susan about getting an S911 bracelet for her Mom.  This technology provides several benefits for Susan and Mary:  if Mary falls, Susan is immediately notified;  if Mary is in distress, she can push one button to summon assistance; and, if Mary drives off past a preset boundary, Susan is notified of her exact location.

Susan is thrilled to learn of these options and feels that her Mom will be very receptive to all of these suggestions.  They meet all of the goals above – cost effective, unobtrusive, and give Susan the comfort knowing that her Mom is able to continue her independent lifestyle – safely.

Technology can help solve a myriad of concerns for older parents and their adult children, while keeping dignity, independence and financial resources intact.

To learn more about available options, please contact Karen Jeselun, RN, CCM, CSA at 1-888-880-6588 or kjeselun@villahomecare.com.

1. CHANGE IS HARD! Making recommendations to older adults who may have lived with safety hazards their whole life is not always well received. My parents are a perfect example. Recovering from hip surgery at age 89, my Mom’s Physical Therapist had suggested that the scatter rugs be removed from her pathways so that she could navigate safety with her walker. Of course, that could not be done because “those rugs have been there for 64 years”.

2. COMPROMISE MIGHT BE THE ANSWER! The rugs had to stay, but we were able to place double-sided sticky tape underneath to secure them to the floor. Think creatively!

3. SOMETIMES PEOPLE HAVE TO FAIL! OF course, we never want them to fail by getting injured. There really is a fine balance here. Allowing an older adult to make their own decisions, even those decisions we may not fully agree with, may be the only way to go. Time and time again, I have found that they will eventually arrive at that same conclusion we did– only this time it is their idea.

Recommendations:
Be patient.
Be innovative.
Be understanding.
Be there for them.